March turned into April turned into May...

 

It's hard to imagine we were still 
wearing coats when all of this 
started... 

... and somehow we have arrived here, July 1. The year 2020 is half over, and it's like it's almost like it never really began. I find myself simultaneously saddened and relieved that I have not felt compelled to continue to document these days, COVID numbers, and deaths. 

I've done my darnedest to turn inward, to channel the obsessive energy and feelings toward something more productive. Reading books. Creating books. So many beautiful, wonderful books. And yes, even writing (more editing, rewriting) books. 

Miscellaneous Notes from a Pandemic Year:

April 13: "Writing about the character 'who done it' made me like the guy quite a bit; now I have mixed feelings about pinning the deed on him."

April 15: "Man, I've missed pizza."

April 20: It's time to think about what will we be. Not, "How do we preserve what we were?"

Notable in May: Started using InstaCart for grocery deliveries. Do not miss shopping.

May 24: Reading my own cards. Ace of Wands - An opportunity to take a fresh, new, exciting action; 10 of Swords - Surrender to unpleasant or unfortunate circumstances; The Empress - This is a time of great abundance and wonderful creativity, good energy abounds and is available for you to use and enjoy; 21 The World - the successful achievement of a goal, doing what you set out to do. Feeling pride and enjoying rewards. Feeling that all is right with the world; 5 of Wands - Trying to work together with mixed results. (Tarot of Pagan Cats, by Lo Scarabeo)

From a note to a friend: "I keep writing and making books because I can't think of anything else that would continue to motivate me to get out of bed each morning."

May 28: "I want to send the governor of Kansas, Laura Kelly, a thank you note for being such a good role model and leader during this time of COVID."

May 31: "I have managed to celebrate [my birthday] through COVID stay-at-home, controversial re-opening, protests over our society's treatment of people of color. The world really does seem to be on fire. 

George Floyd. 

Ahmaud Arbery. 

Breonna Taylor. 

James Scurlock. 

Christian Cooper." 

Note: I also had four different kinds of birthday cake (spread out over a couple of weeks). 

"I must learn to speak out. I will not let people think I am complicit by my silence."

June 5: "I went to my first protest today."

June 8: "Outside me is all 😁 while inside me is all 😧AHHHHHHH!"

June 10: "... so productive. But I feel like I am in some alternate universe and I want to live in mine again."

June 20: "There is a part of me that just wants to take care of people and feed them good and healthy food and talk them into going on nature walks every day. But the other part of me wants to retreat to my cave and make art and be joyful and stop listening to all the noise in the world."

June 24: "... excited by all of the possibilities..."

German Chocolate 50th Birthday Cake